"Finding Faith," 12 x 24" acrylic on canvas NFS

In the last 6 months and in particular the last 6 weeks, I’ve been putting more and more focus into finding ways to DO more … build more business, network with a wider audience and look at as many options as I can for finding a way to grow my Intuitive Design business faster and bigger. In other words, I’ve been DOING a lot.

In the flurry of activity and focus, I have not often pulled back to look at the larger picture. So as the year drew to a close, I was not surprised to find myself feeling very tired. I have not made the time to just BE.

Yesterday, I took time in the afternoon to hang out with a friend. In talking about life, finances, work, hopes, dreams and everything we discussed, I realized I have been missing out on the BEING.

What does it mean to simply BE? In talking with my friend, I could hear my voice speaking of many fears and worries, of options and choices that seem almost overwhelming. And I could feel a tightness in my chest that seemed to grow heavier as I told my friend of everything that has been weighing on my mind.

I find myself in this space in my life where I can look back and see the marvelous path that has unfolded piece by piece to bring me to the place where I live and breathe in this specific moment. And when I envision what comes next, I cannot see what will unfold. Sometimes the fear that likes to creep into my heart and mind rears itself in these moments and I am blinded to possibilities.

In the west African tradition of the Dagara tribe of Burkina Faso, they believe in 5 elements, each one coinciding with a calendar year. 2009 is a mineral year, and the mineral element is all about the stories within us, the bones of our being, the structure upon which we create our lives. I would like the structure of my life, the story of my soul to carry a fullness of BEING. I want to breathe more deeply and purposefully. I want to feel the present moment of my life more fully and have the ability to see a larger focus of what is happening all around me. I want my creativity to be a celebration of passion, of feeling and of transformation. I want the canvases I paint, the logos I design, the imagery I create to honor the deep well of BEING. I want a balance within me to create a space that allows my faith to grow and fill me with hope … hope that I am indeed exactly where I am supposed to be … and that which is to unfold is full of possibility and abundance. I don’t want to measure myself as much by what I do as who I am.

I am glad to be in this place today where I can take the time to write this out and celebrate for a moment the BEING that I am becoming. And whatever comes next, I welcome it with a soft smile and a gentle place in my chest where it is now easier for me to breathe.